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+Soul bonds and arranged marriages
+#################################
+ 
+:date: 2022-06-16
+:category: faith
+:tags: review, harryPotter, blogComment
+ 
+Comment on the Reddit thread “`Soul bonding fics with depth?`_”
+by ZappyFence discussing “`Error of Soul`_” by Materia-Blade)
+
+> Can you elaborate? As someone who read it, I'm still not sure
+> what people mean when they say this.
+
+In the end every soul-bond fanfiction story is a story of
+imposed/unintended relationship.
+
+We, here in Europe (and consequently in America, and from that
+via Hollywood to the whole world), are persuaded under the
+influence of our individualism (and perhaps the Romantic movement
+of the early 19th century) that the best reason why to build
+a life-long marriage is mutual infatuation with each other, and
+that the best spouse anybody can find is the one which we find on
+our own in strict isolation from anybody else.
+
+The often quoted claim (which certainly originally was `not by
+Albert Einstein`_) “The definition of insanity is doing the same
+thing over and over again and expecting a different result.” (or
+I like the alternative formulation of the same thought: “If you
+always do what you’ve always done, you always get what you’ve
+always gotten.”). Insisting on this individualistic romantic love
+as a foundation of marriage, despite almost half of marriages
+ending in divorce, says something about the collective insanity
+of our civilization.
+
+It wasn’t always so and what’s even more interesting, not
+everybody hated it. I am a Czech (a man, if it matters), and
+I live in Prague, but I attend an English-speaking international
+church here, so I have friends from all over the world. I have
+been haunted for long time by talk I had with a slightly
+distraught and sad lady in her twenties, who was from India
+(somewhere around Pune). She was sharing how sad and depressed
+she was: not only from the general homesickness and insecurities
+of life abroad, but also, how she put it, that she would like to
+find a boyfriend and she misses help of her parents in looking
+for him. That actually stunned me: it doesn’t have to be either
+the fight with a marriage arranged by Lady Catherine de Bourgh
+and her total domination, or clear individualism and everybody
+only for themselves, it could be cooperation and family helping
+one of its members.
+
+I think better soul-bond stories could investigate this issue.
+The book by the Christian missionary Walter Trobisch “`I loved
+a girl`_” (highly recommended) cites an African wife who said
+“You, Europeans, put a hot pot with a stew on cold table and hope
+it will stay hot as long as possible; we put a cold pot on stove
+and it will heat up”. And that’s the perennial question about
+what makes a good marriage: compatibility of spouses or their
+willingness to work on their relationship? What’s more important?
+I have been married for over quarter of century, and I still
+don’t know the answer to this question.
+
+Could Harry and Hermione in this situation just sit down and
+decide, that they didn’t want to be together, but now when they
+have to be, could they make their marriage work? Could they be
+happy together nevertheless?
+
+I think it would make a great story, but I am not able to write
+it and I would prefer if it was written by somebody from
+a culture where arranged marriages are still common.
+
+.. _`Soul bonding fics with depth?`:
+    https://www.reddit.com/r/HPfanfiction/comments/vcwxmc/soul_bonding_fics_with_depth/
+
+.. _`Error of Soul`:
+    https://www.fanfiction.net/s/8490518/2/Error-of-Soul
+
+.. _`not by Albert Einstein`:
+    https://quoteinvestigator.com/2017/03/23/same/
+
+.. _`I loved a girl`:
+    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Special:BookSources/1931475016