diff options
| -rw-r--r-- | faith/ad_magical_love_affair.rst | 95 | ||||
| -rw-r--r-- | faith/magicians-realism.rst | 70 |
2 files changed, 145 insertions, 20 deletions
diff --git a/faith/ad_magical_love_affair.rst b/faith/ad_magical_love_affair.rst new file mode 100644 index 0000000..4b8f617 --- /dev/null +++ b/faith/ad_magical_love_affair.rst @@ -0,0 +1,95 @@ +Ad “A magical love affair” +########################## + +:date: 2018-12-16T17:05:39 +:category: faith +:tags: review, harryPotter, blogComment + +(my comments on “`A magical love affair`_” by charmed9292) + +I have to admit reading of this story was an exercise in +frustration for me. I think the general idea of Petunia and +Severus crying over one another’s shoulder is a great. Both of +them are nicely complicated and somehow tragical persons, so they +provide great opportunity for writing a good story. Also, the +beginning of the story (Petunia waking in a bad mistaking Severus +for her teddy bear) is great and actually pretty neatly written. +However, the moment they open their mouths, the execution falls +down completely, which is sad given this is mostly a dialogue +story. I see couple of reasons for this: + +1. Language. There is just no way how two teenagers under the + influence whiskey both in the middle of mental breakdown talk + to each other in the long multi-clause compound sentences using + words like “albeit”. Get yourself a long swig of whiskey and + before writing each sentence down, pronounce it loud. I think + the only sentences you are allowed to use are something like + “You broke her heart, you bastard!” and even that is too + complicated. Runaway sentences, sentence fragments … those are + structures you should prefer, not long complex statements you + have. + + I know that English is probably not your native language, + neither it is mine (hello from Prague!), but English really + doesn’t work well with complex complicated compound + constructs. Make it more simple, make it more simple, make it + more simple. KISS principle (keep it simple stupid!). Full + stop is your best friend in the world! + + Language issues relate to + +2. Too fast reconciliation. I just don’t believe that they would + overcome their issues so fast and easily. + + | I and the public know + | What all schoolchildren learn, + | Those to whom evil is done + | Do evil in return. + + -- W. H. Auden, `1. September 1939`_ + + Exactly because how broken and wounded they are, they are more + likely to hurt each other, to spew their prejudices over each + other, they will fight, and only after long struggle they may + forgive each other. And only through their eventual mutual + forgiveness they may find some path toward each other. You + fell in the trap of every other author: you want to have them + together so fast, you make it too easy for them. And I, as + reader, punish you by not believing you. I just cannot accept + they would pour out their hearts to each other so easily. They + are generally horribly wounded and in result rather awful and + pathetic persons. Only through forgiveness and asking for it, + they can find a way towards each other. At least for at least + half of what you have written so far they should misunderstand + each other, distrust each other, and they should be rather + nasty to each other. Only in the last two chapters (when they + fight about their attitude towards Lilly) they begin to be at + least slightly believable (ignoring horribly convoluted + language, see 1.) Which relates to + +3. Show, don’t tell. Again, I don’t believe that so broken and + damaged teenagers would be capable of so deep introspection + and self-reflection. I don’t want them talk about how much + distrustful they are to each other, I want them to show it. + They are on the edge, or beyond the edge, of loosing their + control, they have no hope for their lives (perhaps they are + even a bit suicidal?), they cannot talk like Sigmund Freud + next to his analytical couch. Don’t bother me with their + psychological self-analysis, show me what state of mind they + are in. + +I am sorry for harsh words, but reading of this story made me +really frustrated. There is so much opportunity, such great idea, +parts of the story are brilliant, and yet in the end the result +is falling far far short of what can be achieved. What Michael +Crichton wrote: + + Books aren’t written - they’re rewritten. Including your own. + It is one of the hardest things to accept, especially after + the seventh rewrite hasn’t quite done it. + +.. _`A magical love affair`: + https://www.wattpad.com/story/138566101-a-magical-love-affair + +.. _`1. September 1939`: + https://m.poets.org/poetsorg/poem/september-1-1939 diff --git a/faith/magicians-realism.rst b/faith/magicians-realism.rst index 4092142..14a912f 100644 --- a/faith/magicians-realism.rst +++ b/faith/magicians-realism.rst @@ -7,7 +7,11 @@ Magicians’ Realism :tags: harryPotter, review, blogComment, realism (thoughts after listening to the episode “`Victorian Realism`_” -of the BBC’s In Our Time) +of the BBC’s In Our Time, originally developed as a review of +“`Strangers at Drakeshaugh`_” by Northumbrian and also a possible +commentary on “`Everything Wrong With HARRY POTTER Fanfictions`_” +by Purplemist14, which is HIGHLY recommended reading for any +hopeful fanfiction writer or reviewer) Brothers and sister, I am coming to you ashamed, because I have to admit a horrible sin I have committed: I have not particularly @@ -15,32 +19,58 @@ enjoyed “One Hundred Years of Solitude” by Gabriel García Márquez and least of it I enjoyed its magical realism. It seems to me that magical realism is a way how to make a bit boring story spiced up by random flashes of magic. It is a long time when -I read the book, so I may forgot a lot from it, and the novel as -such is not the point, the magic as used in the book is. What -I mean, is that the magic there seemed to me like something -external bolted on the top of the story, not inherent to the -universe heroes of the story lived in. +I read the book, so I may forgot a lot from it, and that novel as +such is not the point of this essay, the magic as used in the +book is. What I mean, is that the magic there seemed to me like +something external bolted on the top of the story, not inherent +to the universe heroes of the story lived in. + +.. the following paragraph was originally about LotR, rewrite for + HP I know that the comparison is rather shocking, but let me contrast magic in the magical realism novel with the one in -normal fantasy stories, let’s say “The Lord of the Rings”. Yes, -it is an adventure story, but the overall style of story-telling -is rather realistic, rather plain. The magic is inherently -present in the world, but it is not something which is -particularly noticed by the participants in this world. I would -say that it is a realistic adventure story from the magical -world, rather than a magical story from the normal (one tends to -say “Muggle”) world. And I a way prefer the former to the latter. +normal fantasy stories, particularly in J. K. Rowling’s saga +about Harry Potter. Yes, it is an adventure story, but the +overall style of story-telling is rather realistic, rather plain. +The magic is inherently present in the world, but it is something +so “normal” to all (non-Muggle) participants in the world, we are +eventually more focused on the story itself rather than on magic +which serves more as an enabling mechanism than it is a focus of +the story itself. + +The BBC show mentioned above quoted Henry James saying: -It seems to me that one more step towards this realism was made -in the magical world of books about the Harry Potter universe. + realism is what in some shape or form we might encounter, + whereas romanticism is something we will never encounter. ----- +Of course, it seems silly to talk about realism while thinking +about literature where magic is real, and although I have no +problem to keep Harry Potter books (and most of the better pieces +of the gigantic mass of its fanfiction stories) in the realm of +the fantasy literature, it might be helpful to contrast Harry +Potter universe with some other ones. -The BBC show quoted Henry James saying: - Realism is what in some shape or form we might encounter, - whereas romanticism is something we will never encounter. +I think that there are more important factors for distinguishing +between the two, like presence of exceptional heroic persons +towering over everybody else. In this respect JKR (and yours) +stories are remarkably realistic: Harry is not a superman, but +normal ministerial official (yes, a bit better than average, but +not Superman / Rambo / Barbar Conan level) and sometime confused +father. I know that some readers (and fanfiction writers) this +irritates to no end (and they end to write a poor +Harry-is-a-supewizard stories), but I really like it. In this +trend of magician realism (comparing to the magical realism, +which I really dislike, but that's another issue) the Strangers +are probably the most realistic of all HP fanfics. Thank you. .. _`Victorian Realism`: http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p00548ks + +.. _`Strangers at Drakeshaugh`: + http://www.siye.co.uk/viewstory.php?sid=129036 + +.. _`Everything Wrong With HARRY POTTER Fanfictions`: + https://www.wattpad.com/555529455-everything-wrong-with-harry-potter-fanfictions + |